A Tribute to My Father: Genius, Poet, and a Man of Struggles
Join Wambui Bahati as she takes us on an emotional journey exploring the life of her father, a man who was so much more than the sum of his struggles. Despite battling alcohol addiction and facing societal constraints, he showcased extraordinary talents, from fixing TVs to writing unpublished poetry. Wambui shares heartwarming anecdotes that illustrate her father's creativity and love, painting a vivid picture of a man who, although often quiet, had a profound impact on those around him. His complex personality reveals the layers of pain and resilience that define family legacies. Tune in for a touching tribute that honors the indelible mark her father left on her life and the lessons learned through their relationship.
Stories of family often come wrapped in layers of joy and sorrow, and this episode peels back those layers with a deft hand. We’re drawn into the life of a father whose hands could fix almost anything, from the old-school TVs to radios, evoking a sense of nostalgia that many of us can relate to. Our narrator paints a vivid picture of a man who found joy in tinkering, often setting up shop in the living room, surrounded by a jumble of wires and tubes. It’s a charming glimpse into a time when electronics were more about fixing than tossing out, showcasing the father’s ingenuity and resourcefulness.
But this episode doesn’t just celebrate the father’s skills; it dives deeper into the emotional currents that ran through their household. The story takes a heartfelt turn as we discuss the impact of alcoholism on the family. Here, we see a man who, despite his talents and aspirations, struggled with inner demons that often overshadowed his brilliance. With a skillful blend of humor and pathos, the narrator recounts the duality of their father's existence—his moments of sheer brilliance countered by bouts of frustration and despair. It’s a powerful reminder of how addiction can transform dreams into shadows, leaving behind a legacy that’s both inspiring and heartbreaking.
As we navigate through the stories of family life, we encounter the warmth and love that permeated their interactions, even in the face of hardship. The father’s commitment to looking sharp and clean serves as a metaphor for his desire to present his best self to the world, even when battling personal struggles. The anecdotes about family dynamics, the mother's efforts to keep the household stable, and the father's silent strength offer a nuanced view of love and resilience. By the episode's end, we’re left pondering the complexities of family life and the bittersweet nature of cherished memories, encouraging us to embrace both the joys and the struggles that shape who we are.
Takeaways:
- Wambui paints a vivid picture of her father as a genius, showcasing his extraordinary talents in electrical repairs and poetry, despite his struggles.
- The episode highlights the emotional complexity of familial relationships, where love and pain coexist, revealing the depth of Wambui's father's character.
- Wambui's anecdotes about her father's creativity and intelligence shine a light on the silent battles he fought throughout his life.
- The discussion dives into the societal constraints faced by her father, demonstrating how they shaped his experiences and aspirations in life.
- Wambui shares heartfelt memories of her father's caring nature, illustrating how he made her and her siblings feel safe and loved.
- The episode reflects on the bittersweet legacy of a father, emphasizing the importance of understanding and honoring one's family history.
Companies mentioned in this episode:
- A and T State University
- Radio Shack
- Camels
- Chesterfields
Transcript
You see, I thought my daddy was a genius.
Speaker A:He could fix anything electrical.
Speaker A:In fact, there was a period of time when people used to bring their broken down radios, TVs, anything electrical to our house.
Speaker A:And my father would repair it for them.
Speaker A:His specialty was TVs.
Speaker A:That was back in the day when you could repair a TV when it was worth it.
Speaker A:He would set up.
Speaker A:The TV and TVs were big and they had all these tubes in them.
Speaker A:And I remember my father setting up in the living room his workspace so that he could work and tinker with these TVs and radios.
Speaker A:And I remembered him taking the backs off the TVs and there'd be all these various sized little tubes in the back of the tv.
Speaker A:And he seemed to know what to do in order to get that TV to work or which tube needed to be replaced.
Speaker A:And one of the things I remember him doing is he would get a mirror.
Speaker A:And he would set the mirror on the floor so that it faced him and the tv.
Speaker A:And then he would face the TV toward that mirror.
Speaker A:Which meant that now he could be behind that tv tinkering.
Speaker A:But he could see in the mirror whether the picture was getting better or whether it was getting worse.
Speaker A:And I just thought that was amazing and fabulous that he could do all of that.
Speaker A:My father had gone at least one semester to the Agricultural and Technical College, which is now A and T State University.
Speaker A:I think because of finance reasons and because the family started growing, that he had to leave school there.
Speaker A:But he was always thinking, he was always writing.
Speaker A:My father was a writer.
Speaker A:We have books of poems that were compiled with soldiers poems from World War II.
Speaker A:And my father has many poems in these books.
Speaker A:In fact, I want to read A if I can find it real fast.
Speaker A:So this is what was written in the back of those books where my father had his poems published.
Speaker A:And this was his bio.
Speaker A:It said, john L.
Speaker A:Washington is serving in the US Army.
Speaker A:He has been writing for four years and has had his work published in another national poetry anthology.
Speaker A:He is the author of one published song and has lyrics for 20 others ready for the consideration of music publishers.
Speaker A:And then it has a San Francisco address that people could write to if they were interested in any of his music, his lyrics.
Speaker A:Now, when growing up, I remember down in our basement, which was really our storage area.
Speaker A:I remember me and my sister finding lp, one of those big albums down there.
Speaker A:And on it where it said lyrics by.
Speaker A:It said lyrics by John Lewis Washington.
Speaker A:That was my father.
Speaker A:We were so proud of that that he could write and that he was a reader.
Speaker A:He read a lot, he knew a lot, and he was just a very smart man.
Speaker A:But at the same time, my father was a serious alcoholic.
Speaker A:I believe from what I know now, this is just my speaking from what I have experienced and I've seen and what I believe that I know now is that I believe he was.
Speaker A:He drank because of his frustration, because I'm sure he must have known about how talented he was, and I'm sure he must have been aware of how smart he was and what he could do.
Speaker A:But for some reason, he never had those opportunities to really show off what he could do in a big way or in a way that would help him financially.
Speaker A:So my father worked at the post office.
Speaker A:He was a male handler at the post office.
Speaker A:And my father was.
Speaker A:In a lot of my stories, I talk about how the people dressed.
Speaker A:And it wasn't just the women who, when they stepped out, they really represented every.
Speaker A:Everybody looked good.
Speaker A:The men looked good, too.
Speaker A:I remember the big, long wool overcoats and the fedoras and the men just dressed.
Speaker A:And my father was one of those men that dressed.
Speaker A:He was always how the young guys would say, today, maybe he was clean.
Speaker A:I don't know, maybe that's not what they say today.
Speaker A:But my father was clean.
Speaker A:That's what we used to say back in the day.
Speaker A:My father was clean.
Speaker A:He was just so well put together when he stepped out.
Speaker A:And he just looked so good in his clothes.
Speaker A:And he was just always a polish.
Speaker A:When my father would leave the house in the afternoon to go to his job at the post office, you would have thought he owned the post office.
Speaker A:He wore green, very thick twill pants, and he always wore a white shirt.
Speaker A:Now, I don't know if he was told to wear this or this just became his uniform on his own.
Speaker A:But it was always green twill pants, and he always wore a white shirt.
Speaker A:And when I say white, I don't mean off white.
Speaker A:I mean it was white.
Speaker A:It was so white, it put white to shame, okay?
Speaker A:That's how he liked his shirts to be.
Speaker A:They were white.
Speaker A:The collars were starched so they would stand up.
Speaker A:Everything was pressed, okay?
Speaker A:Nothing.
Speaker A:There was no wrinkle anywhere.
Speaker A:Everything was pressed.
Speaker A:And one of the things that became me and or my sister's job was to press those green.
Speaker A:Those green twill pants.
Speaker A:So we would press them, and we had to press creases into those pants in the front crease in the back course on each leg.
Speaker A:And so we had to press, you know, and we weren't done pressing those creases in until those pants could just about stand up by themselves.
Speaker A:So my father had these green twill pants with these sharp, sharp creases in them.
Speaker A:And then he wore these white shirts.
Speaker A:He always had a undershirt under the shirt.
Speaker A:And then he had, he had a white like tank top shirt under the shirt.
Speaker A:And then he had on his white shirt.
Speaker A:Oh my goodness, my father looks so good.
Speaker A:And then in the winter they had, he had long wool overcoat and the fedora.
Speaker A:And he just looked, he just looked like a million.
Speaker A:When he left the house to go to work or when he left the house to do anything, my father was always just so clean, just, just looked so good pulled together.
Speaker A:My father was a chain smoker.
Speaker A:My father smoked a lot.
Speaker A:Besides the drinking, he smoked a lot.
Speaker A:He smoked Camels and he smoked Chesterfields.
Speaker A:I don't recall any memory.
Speaker A:I have no memory.
Speaker A:Maybe when we were eating sometimes maybe I think when we were eating, when we were eating, that was the only time I remember my father not having a cigarette between his fingers.
Speaker A:My father also had a great sense of humor.
Speaker A:And when he was drunk on alcohol or whatever, it wasn't like he was.
Speaker A:He just got sillier.
Speaker A:He just told more jokes and he opened up.
Speaker A:Because my father was referred to, they used to call my dad around the neighborhood and at his job they used to call him say Nothing Wash because, well, my father's name was John Lewis Washington.
Speaker A:So they referred to him as say Nothing Wash.
Speaker A:And that was because whenever he was around someone, he never had anything to say.
Speaker A:He never talked.
Speaker A:If you said something to him, he would be cordial, he would answer.
Speaker A:But he was not that person like myself who would just like keep the conversation going and just.
Speaker A:Was just chatty.
Speaker A:He said what he thought he needed to say and then he just, he felt like there was nothing else.
Speaker A:Why am I talking?
Speaker A:He felt I don't have anything to say.
Speaker A:And so he wouldn't say anything.
Speaker A:And so they started referring to him as say Nothing Wash.
Speaker A:And which when I think about that now, that was something that, you know, looking back in hindsight, I admire about my dad.
Speaker A:He just, if, if it wasn't something necessary to say, he didn't say it.
Speaker A:And I think maybe we could all learn a lesson from that.
Speaker A:My father made us feel loved.
Speaker A:He loved us and we felt that.
Speaker A:And whenever we were walking, if we were walking somewhere, we were with my dad.
Speaker A:I remember when I was very little to at that point where you had to hold hands with your dad or even just walking.
Speaker A:When I got a little older, whenever we got to a curb, my father would always say, watch your step, watch your step.
Speaker A:As.
Speaker A:As if he was always just so afraid we were going to trip.
Speaker A:But if we were, he was letting us know he's got it.
Speaker A:He's watching.
Speaker A:He's watching our step and he's got us.
Speaker A:And he always made us feel very safe in that way.
Speaker A:My father, because he could do all of these electrical things, he had lights in our backyard way before they were even popular.
Speaker A:The kind that would shine in the yard.
Speaker A:And if someone came in the yard, the light would immediately just come on from wherever they were in the yard.
Speaker A:So we had all of these kind of things that were ahead of our time.
Speaker A:Because my father read about them and studied these things before they were actually something that was even on the market.
Speaker A:My father would find a way to get them.
Speaker A:And he enjoyed tinkering with.
Speaker A:Tinkering with them and playing with them.
Speaker A:And one of the things too is my father had the first home computer that I ever heard of or remember.
Speaker A:He got this computer from the Radio Shack.
Speaker A:And this was before there were like really even any programs for it.
Speaker A:Had this 5 inch floppy disk.
Speaker A:And one of the things that he started doing was, I remember one Christmas, some of the neighbors brought their Christmas lists, their mailing list to him for their Christmas cards.
Speaker A:And he said he would print out labels for them, which today doesn't sound like a big deal at all, but back then it was a big deal.
Speaker A:And the fact is that my father didn't have that program.
Speaker A:My father made that program so that he was able to make his computer and his printer do that.
Speaker A:My father spent a lot of time alone in his room.
Speaker A:I feel, in fact, I know that a lot of times my father was dealing with depression, but a lot of times he was just in his room tinkering and playing with things.
Speaker A:He had all kinds of tools, electrical measuring things and all these things that I'd never seen, I haven't seen since.
Speaker A:But he just had all these little gadgets.
Speaker A:He was so much into the electrics and physics as well as, like I said, just being well read and just being a good writer.
Speaker A:I think the main clash that I saw between my mother and my father is my mother wanted to make sure that the bills were paid and that the kids were fed.
Speaker A:And sometimes because of his drinking the check and because of him having this interest in gadgets and things like that, the money Just wasn't there.
Speaker A:And I'll talk about that again in another video.
Speaker A:But I think the main clash was that my father wanted to do something creative.
Speaker A:And he wanted to, I believe, have a shop, an electrical shop, where he fixed appliances and things like that.
Speaker A:And my mother wanted something that was more stable.
Speaker A:She wanted to make sure that you were getting a check every week and how much it was going to be.
Speaker A:And she just wanted something more stable.
Speaker A:And I believe he wanted to do something more creative.
Speaker A:But because of having four kids, he felt he was torn.
Speaker A:So he.
Speaker A:He never ventured out to do any of those things.
Speaker A:But at the same time, because it was like a catch 22 because he didn't venture out then, that just caused him to, I believe, drink more because of his frustration.
Speaker A:And so I believe that was one of the main clashes that my mother and my father had.
Speaker A:I often think, too.
Speaker A:No one ever said this to me, but I often think about my mother would go to these homes of people who were considered, you know, well off and because they hired her to come in to clean their homes or watch their children.
Speaker A:And a lot of times my mother would talk about, oh, you know, the lady that I work for, she has this, and they're doing this and they're doing that.
Speaker A:And I often wonder, not only in my family, but in those times, the fathers must have felt some type of way when their wives would come home and be talking about all the fancy things that her employer has and what they're doing.
Speaker A:And I would think that would have to, you know, make husbands feel some type of way that they weren't able to give to their loved ones and their wives and their families.
Speaker A:The things that they were hearing their wives talk about that these, you know, white families had.
Speaker A:So I've often thought about that.
Speaker A:My father had served in World War II.
Speaker A:However, he never talked about anything about the war.
Speaker A:Even when we would ask him, he wouldn't talk about it.
Speaker A:And sometimes he'd be cooking something my father loved cooking.
Speaker A:And he would cook really strange things and odd things like brains and scrambled eggs, which I didn't want to have any part of.
Speaker A:He was the person that introduced us to some Mexican dishes like tamales.
Speaker A:My father liked a lot of really hot and spicy foods, but he would not talk about what he did in the army, except sometimes some of the recipes that he would be doing.
Speaker A:He said, oh, I learned about this when I was in the army, but he never talked about the Army.
Speaker A:And I've talked to other people my age whose fathers also served in World War II.
Speaker A:And many of them tell me the same things that their father would just never, ever talk about what went on or what happened during their time in World War II.
Speaker A:And I'm wondering if that was part of the debriefing is that they were not to ever disclose or talk about what their life was like when they were in World War II.
Speaker A:I don't know that to be a fact, but it seems there's some reason why so many men in World War II just don't want to talk about it at all.
Speaker A: My father died in February of: Speaker A:He died from complications from alcoholism, smoking, lung problems, liver problems.
Speaker A:We had a very nice funeral for him.
Speaker A:We were presented with his Veterans United States of America flag.
Speaker A:I don't.
Speaker A:I didn't cry at the time of my father's death.
Speaker A:At the time of my father's death, I felt my father was in a lot of physical and, or mental pain.
Speaker A:And so when I heard that he had passed over, I felt relief for him.
Speaker A:I felt he got away.
Speaker A:He got away.
